Sex vs Sexy and the Sacredness of Life

The other day I posted a portion of a Facebook conversation among some respected theologians concerning what the Bible says about premarital sex. During that online discussion someone mentioned that this was the least “sexy” conversation about sex they had read. Dr. Lawson Stone responded with this beautiful description about what “sex” and “sexy” really is.

“As for “least sexy” conversation, sex is about SO much more than “sexy.” Sex is about helping your wife recover for months from a very difficult delivery of a baby you sort of had something to do with; sex is about loving the wrinkles and grey hair or thinning hair. Sex is about sitting by the bed wishing you could be the one suffering instead of them. Sex is about still feeling off balance when you have to go without your wedding band for some reason. It’s about staying together through times when you don’t feel in love, don’t feel dedicated, don’t feel “committed” but remember that before God and his church you made a promise, a covenant, and you’ll honor it–and discovering that those who keep faith with that formal, so-called legalistic boundary enter a garden of joy known only to those who surrender. “Sexy” in our culture is a sad, pale cartoon made up of too much cleavage, too little self-respect, too much butt-crack and too many tramp-stamps, and over-tight clothes; it testifies to emptiness, a hunger, but not real desire. Lots of energy, but is it really passion? Lots of smoke, but not a fire to light your life, warm your soul and nourish your heart. The eyes of the goddess are painted, but the eye-holes are empty. The courtesan looks alluring, but the heart is stone-cold. As long as we keep chasing “sexy” we’ll never find the real thing. Instead, we get Madonna and Lady Gaga. And we deserve them.” – Lawson Stone

As Christ followers, our foundation of faith is built upon the belief that God is intentional about life, that there is meaning in his creation, and that our life has purpose. If life has meaning then the things we do have meaning. If life is to be cherished, then our relationships are to be cherished. If life is sacred, then don’t waste it. Why do we take one of the most intimate actions in our life and treat it like a pat on the back? Sex isn’t supposed to be locked away never to be used, but neither is it a common commodity so easily to be discarded. Your life and those around you are too wonderful to be treated so casually. Commit to one another, commit to life, and then discover what real sacred love is.

 

 

If you missed Wednesday’s blog, click  Premarital Sex and The Bible.

Thank you to Dr. Lawson Stone for today’s contribution.

One thought on “Sex vs Sexy and the Sacredness of Life

  1. God’s emphasis on sex is primary. His very image and likeness is first described in terms of humanity’s gender-specific physical bodies (Gen 1:27), of which the one-flesh marital union of persons (Gen 2:24) symbolically images the loving nature of Trinitarian Union, as Karol Wojtyla (Pope JP2) shows in his landmark theology of human sexuality, Male and Female made He Them. Furthermore, God’s very first command to gendered humanity was to employ their sexuality for reproduction (Gen 1:28). In holy terminology “sex” (gender) and “having sex” (marital intercourse) are both central realities in God’s will for human identity and for human fulfilment.

    However, foreign to God’s sanctification of “sex” was another mindset, that of “sexy,” which treats gender and sexuality as elements of two dysfunctional opposites: “body shame” (a false view of the body) and “body lust” (a false reaction to the body). This foreign thinking is often posited in the opening of human eyes by the forbidden fruit. But God Himself—if we don’t ignore His 2nd of 3 rhetorical questions to fallen Adam—points to an event occuring between the phrases “Then the eyes of both were opened,… and they knew that they were naked,”(Gen 3:7a, ESV). God acknowledges the introduction of “naked” as a foreign term (meaningless in a world where nothing had yet been covered that could become visibly bare by being uncovered). God’s question refers to a culprit who not only helped humans become morally independent from Him for their knowledge of right and wrong, but who fed their newly “opened eyes” with a “sexy” image of their bodies. Sexy hides the truth, then flaunts it as fantasy, turning God’s holy reality of human gender and sexuality into something at once shameful and lustful. This is why prudery and pornography are symbiotic twins, born from the same deceitful womb, and forever dependent on each other. The church and the world keep the sparks flying by the one porno-prudish fire of a “sexualized” body.

    “Sex” is the truth. “Sexy” is a lie. One is God’s design, the other Satan’s deception. For too long the church has been so mesmerized by an unwitting cultural commitment to Victorian concepts about a “sexy” body that Christians have utterly failed to do their proper theological homework. Now, in a sex-obsessed, gender-confused modern society, we have nothing but parroted legalisms to throw at the immense problems. It’s way past time to do an incarnationally-correct theology of the body and its divine, gender-distinctive calling. It is crucial to leave behind the traditional dysfunction of Gnostically influenced prudery and catch up to the drastic need for frank, open, unashamed, and doctrinally sound teaching on our gendered bodies and their God-intended sexuality. [For more thinking on this problem, Google “Incarnational Truth About Humanity’s Sexual Nature (How To Do Body-Friendly Theology Free from Gnostic Prudery)”].

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